MLS All-Star Hotties

I've been quite bored since the end of the World Cup. Euro leagues are off-season and my MLS hometown team has been sucking ass (although this article reminds me of the love I used to have for DC United.) I have taken up playing soccer several days a week with a group of Peruvians who play indoors on Monday and a group of Bolivians (and a very hilarious Argentine) who play Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays. We have a game against some Mesoamericans this Sunday morning if anyone is bored. So now I'm watching the MLS all-star team struggle against

Manchester United, one of my least favorite teams in the EPL. I haven't kept up with these guys in a while and I'm noticing that a lot of them are MUCH sexier than the MLS's so called "greatest

player" a.k.a. Receding Hairline I'm a D-bag Donovan.

So here's my list of faves... (in no particular order)

1. Juan Pablo Angel

His name is mad sexy and this Columbian forward has been about 2 inches short of scoring like 3 times during this All-Star game. Is he 2 inches short elsewhere? Quien sabe? Quien quiere saber??

2. Heath Pearce

What a SWM should look like.

3. Jaime Moreno

Sorry, this picture was fucking hilarious. Jaime has terrible taste in clothes and hair gel, but I still love him.

My Honorary Bolivian Heart belongs to this man. Ever since I was 8 years old, I have been the biggest fan and the several times in my life we had crossed paths, he has been so gracious. Oh, and he has HOT tattoos. I will always luv u, Jaime, even if you're from Santacruz!!

4. Brian Ching

God knows why he was left off the US World Cup roster.

HEY HE JUST SCORED!!! The only goal in this terrible game...

and finally...

5. Guillermo Schelotto

This almost 40 (37) year old is kind of what I imagine when I think of my future Argentinian husband. A 10 year Boca player, he has spent the last few years on the Columbus Crew. I can just imagine how hot his accent is... and he has aged better than the best bottle of Malbec~

God, I miss you Argentina.

Honorable Mentions...

Omar Gonzalez of the L.A. Galaxy

Kevin Alston of New England

Wilman Conde of Chicago Fire